Stuck

Last week I was put into a very difficult position regarding work.  Actually, I put myself into that situation.  Let me elaborate.

I have been at my current job for a little over 5 years.  I started in October of my junior year of high school, working part time in our front office.  My boss's son and I have gone to school together since 7th grade, and have been friends ever since.  That's how I originally got the job.  I then developed a love for physical therapy, and decided I wanted to pursue physical therapy as a career.  I was able to work here all through high school and college.  My boss was always willing to work around whatever my schedule was. Her son and I even went to college together!

I have grown to think of my boss and her husband (who does our insurance billing) as my second family.  If you count the hours, I actually spend more time with them than with my own family!  We have a relaxed atmosphere here at work, and are always joking around with each other.

My job duties and responsibilities have broadened as my experience as grown.  I now work on patients for most of my day, and love every minute of it.  I get to develop a real connection with most of them; I learn about their families, their history, their day-to-day life.  I still do the majority of our office work as well.  And laundry.  Loads and loads of laundry.

The only problem with my job is the financial situation it puts me in.  I do not have health insurance through work, I work most holidays (such as President's Day, MLK Day, etc., because those are our busiest days!), and I don't get paid much per hour. 

Now that I am out of college, repaying my student loans, and preparing to move out, I began looking at other jobs.  Mostly for the State of Washington.  I still want to go back to school in the fall, so I will really only be able to work a full time job during the week until September.

Last week, I interviewed for and was offered a job.  Making slightly more than I make now, but with benefits, and vacation and sick leave, and holidays off, etc.  But I knew in my heart I wouldn't be happy at the job.  Not like I am when I am with my patients.  I struggled all week with my choices.  More money but less happiness?  Less money but the rewards of helping people daily?  I was so torn.  I was stressed, depressed, upset, worried.  Everyone gave me conflicting advice; although deep down I knew the choice really had to be made by myself.

In the end, I chose to stay where I am.  I couldn't bear giving this up.  I love my patients, my boss, my clinic.  As soon as I made my decision and officially turned down the other job, I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted.  I was happy.  I have yet to regret my decision.

I made the right choice.