Friday, May 1, 2009

It's The Final Countdown....

This is it. The end of college. Maybe just for now, maybe forever.

Yesterday was my last day of class at Saint Martin's University. I have two finals next week, and then graduation on May 9th.

It's strange how I've gone from being so excited about being done, to be very sad about it. Saint Martin's is a large part of my life, and the thought of no longer walking those creaking, uneven halls everyday, or sitting at my desk in the T.U.B. working on paperwork for A.S.S.M.U., or checking my email a million times a day, bothers me a little bit. That university is my home away from home.

In fact, my responsibilities there are what made me decide to get a Blackberry. Instead of having to get on the computer several times a day to check my Saint Martin's email, I simply get my email delivered to my phone. I can then read and respond to emails as soon as they come in, which is all hours of the day (and night). This means I am (almost) literally attached to my phone at all times. It never leaves me. We are a team, so to speak. This is also the reason why I am unable to "turn off" my brain when it comes to school. Even last weekend camping, I needed to check my phone for emails that needed my attention. Since everyone knows I have my Blackberry and check it like an addiction, they automatically assume I will respond immediately. This problem is only increased by the fact that I do, in fact, respond immediately. Emails that used to sit in my inbox until I had access to my computer, now follow me around wherever I am. But I like that.

I like feeling important; like I am a vital part of the functionality of the Associated Students of Saint Martin's University, and the Student Health Center.

And I think one reason I am so sad about graduating is, I won't be important to that school anymore. The university will go on just fine without me, as will ASSMU. New Senate members have been elected, I have appointed my replacement, and they have held their first meeting. But I have not yet cleaned out my desk, or taken all my documents off of my office computer, or handed over my precious binders that I have so meticulously kept organized for the last two years. More importantly, I am not ready to hand over my responsibilities. I feel as though they are mine, not anybody else's.

This is something I need to work on. And soon. Because come next Saturday, I am completing my journey at Saint Martin's University.