Monday, January 30, 2012

What Did I Do to Deserve This?

I find myself asking this question whenever things get tough.  Whenever life throws me a curveball that I'm not prepared for.

We've had a string of bad luck lately, and that question has played over and over in my mind.

Josh's truck breaks down - What did I do to deserve this?

We need to unexpectedly remodel our master bathroom - What did I do to deserve this?

I'm off work without pay due to the winter storm - What did I do to deserve this?

Our washing machine dies - What did I do to deserve this?

It often feels like karma is trying to catch up to us lately, in the form of things not going our way, or going the exact opposite of how we'd like things to go.  I start feeling down, and majorly overwhelmed.  Like we won't ever be able to overcome these obstacles.

But then, a certain little brown-eyed boy smiles at me.

And I think to myself, What did I do to deserve THIS?

I start remembering just how blessed I am.  We have a safe, warm home of our own to live in.  I drive a safe, reliable car to chauffeur my family around in.  We have plenty of food in our cupboards.  We both have great jobs.  We both have medical benefits.  We have money in our savings.  We have incredible families close to us.

And the most incredible thing of all- we have Lane.

How on earth is it possible that I get to be the mom to such an amazing little boy?  A son who melts my heart with his big, gummy smile.  Who's big brown eyes look just like mine.  Who has his dad's tiny ears.  Who is healthy, happy, and my entire world.  What did I do to deserve this?

Even though life is rough sometimes, I need to keep reminding myself of all of the great things in my life. 

Because really, all of the blessings trump the rough patches.